Odd Enough: The psychology of why men like Louis C.K. masturbate in front of women

Louis C.K. admitted that the allegations that he had exposed himself in front of women were true. We talked to experts about what actually drives men to do this.

Yesterday, the New York Times published a report alleging that the comedian Louis C.K. repeatedly coerced female colleagues on set and in comedy clubs into watching him masturbate.

Today, Louis C.K. confirmed those claims in an open letter that was also published by the New York Times: “These stories are true. At the time, I said to myself that what I did was O.K. because I never showed a woman my dick without asking first, which is also true. But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn’t a question. It’s a predicament for them.”

Louis C.K. is not the first powerful man in Hollywood to have been accused of such acts. Earlier this year, journalist Lauren Sivan shared an account of watching Harvey Weinstein disrobe, stroke his penis, and ejaculate into a potted plant in front of her. So what explains this very specific form of sexual abuse?

While such behavior could at face value be chalked up to exhibitionism, a paraphilia in which someone derives sexual pleasure from showing a person their genitals, the psychology behind masturbating in front of another person without their consent is much more complex than that, according to experts.

"It's power and control that they're subjecting this person to this," says Michele Day, a clinical social worker and licensed therapist who owns the Chicago Center For Sexual Well-Being. She referred to a man masturbating in front of a woman as “an escalation of a behavior. Just like a tolerance for alcohol or drugs, you develop a tolerance to your sexual acting-out behaviors.”

Douglas Evans, Executive Director at the sex therapy clinic Center For Healthy Sex in Los Angeles, agrees that the act of masturbating in front of another person without their consent is often not sexual at all. "It's not about the sex, it's not about the orgasm. The pleasure they derive from that isn't what we think,” he says. “It's more the inflated sense of self and the power trip."

Could masturbating in front of another person be considered compulsive behavior? Sure, says Day — but that certainly doesn’t let Louis C.K. off the hook from violating someone else’s consent. "Sexual compulsion is … something will just trigger you and [you think,] 'I'm going to do this. I don't care who sees,’” she explains. While a man who’s turned on by exposing himself to others “could [have] a compulsion, either way, it's not appropriate.”

As sex therapist Alexandra Katehakis explained to The Cut,often this act is not about sex at all. “Exhibitionists purposefully look to shock their victims because they are angry. They are not looking to make friends or go on a date — these are acts of revenge against women."

Louis C.K. admitted that the allegations that he had exposed himself in front of women were true. We talked to experts about what actually drives men to do this. Read Full Story