He ghosted me for two months and then proposed—should I say 'Yes'?

Hi Pulse,

I’m 28, and I’ve been dating Kwame on and off for about three years. Things were never perfect, but we always found our way back to each other. Then two months ago, he completely disappeared. No texts, no calls—nothing. I’d message and see he was online, but he wouldn’t respond. I even asked his best friend, who just said he “needed space.”

No explanation. No breakup. Just silence. I was heartbroken. I cried for weeks, tried to make sense of everything, then slowly picked myself up. I deleted his number, started therapy, and told myself it was time to move on.

Then out of nowhere, he reappeared—flowers in hand, tears in his eyes, and my dream wedding ring we had always joked about. He said he’d been going through a personal storm and didn’t want to drag me into it. Now, suddenly, he wants to marry me.

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Part of me still loves him, and another part of me is scared. Scared that I won’t find anyone else. Scared that time is running out. I’m 28, and everyone around me is getting engaged, settling down, having babies. My parents are also pressuring me to get married because my mum already had 3 kids at my age. Maybe this is as good as it gets?

But how do you ghost someone you love, then show up with a proposal like nothing happened? I haven’t even processed the hurt, and now I’m expected to say yes to forever.

Am I being too cautious… or is this a massive red flag in disguise? What should I do?

-Sasha

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Hello Sasha,

Thank you for opening up and sharing your story. What you’ve experienced is deeply hurtful, and your confusion is completely valid. When someone you've dated for years suddenly disappears without any explanation—ignoring messages while staying active online—it is a red flag. It shows a lack of emotional maturity and respect, no matter what issues existed in the relationship.

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Needing space is one thing, but real partners communicate that. Silence, especially after everything you’ve shared, is not just unfair—it’s emotionally damaging.

At 28, it’s also completely normal to start worrying about time, your future, and whether you’ll find someone else. But please hear this: you will.

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This experience doesn’t mean you’re hard to love or that good love won’t come. It just means this wasn’t the right person for you. You deserve someone who chooses you consistently, not someone who disappears when things get hard. Trust that the kind of love you’re hoping for is still possible—and it will find you when you’re ready.

-Pulse

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