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A recent study by DatePsychology has revealed that nearly half—45%—of men aged 18 to 25 have never asked a woman out in person.
This growing reluctance may stem from a mix of social anxiety, fear of rejection, and the increasing dominance of digital communication. With dating apps becoming the norm, traditional face-to-face interactions are fading. Additionally, concerns about social boundaries and approaching strangers have made in-person dating even more daunting.
Interestingly, 74% of women aged 25 and under expressed a strong desire to be approached more often, highlighting a disconnect in modern dating dynamics. This shift signals a broader transformation in how young adults form relationships, with technology and evolving social norms reshaping the way romance begins.
The Factors: Social Anxiety
Studies have shown that today’s young adults are less socially engaged than previous generations. This has been attributed to the rise of online social platforms and the decline of in-person gatherings.
This phenomenon accelerated further with the COVID-19 pandemic, which forced much of the global population into lockdown. Schools operated remotely, dating became virtual, and social events were banned. The only way to connect was through online platforms, making digital interactions the new norm.
But was this convenience worth the impact on young adults’ social skills?
A study by Harmony Healthcare IT found that more than half of Gen Zs (those currently aged 15 to 28) experience some form of daily anxiety. The most common triggers include public spaces, crowds, work environments, acquaintances, and even family, in descending order. Essentially, the more social the situation, the higher their anxiety—leading to fewer opportunities for developing communication skills.
The Factors: Online Platforms
Social media platforms such as Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat have further reinforced this issue. While they provide an easy way to connect, they also heighten social anxiety with unrealistic lifestyle comparisons, information overload, and online commentary that dictates behaviour (cough cough, podcast culture). At such a crucial developmental stage, it’s no surprise that many young adults feel too overwhelmed to socialise properly.
How to Improve Your Social Confidence with Women
Despite these challenges, there are ways to build confidence and improve your dating skills:
1. Use social media—to better yourself
This sounds very counteractive but yes, using social media is actually a good way to combat this habit. Platforms offer tailored content, so if you follow self-improvement pages and communication experts, you’ll receive valuable tips to boost your confidence.
2. Attend more social gatherings—you’ll meet more people
It’s tempting to stay home and play video games or endlessly scroll through your phone, but this limits your social interactions. Say yes to that seminar, youth programme, or birthday party—even if it doesn’t seem exciting. Just showing up is a step in the right direction.
3. Start more conversations—it’s just a chat
Like any skill, communication improves with practice. Talk to the bank cashier, the kenkey seller in your area, or even a fellow commuter. The more you engage, the easier it becomes.
4. Be okay with rejection—it’s not that deep
Many men fear rejection, but a simple no isn’t the end of the world. Take your chances, and if she declines, move on. It’s never personal.
5. Leverage your strengths
You don’t need to be the best-looking or tallest guy to make an impression. Your talents and personality can be just as attractive. Are you artistic? A great storyteller? Have a deep, soothing voice? Use these to your advantage.
Bonus tip: Timing matters. Ask her out when she’s in a good mood—it increases your chances.
So, young men, it’s never too late or too difficult to ask a woman out. Take your shot—you might just be glad you did!
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