Uncle Ebo Whyte's Blackmail: So are pastors terrible in bed?

You would have thought that a play titled 'Blackmail' pretty much gives the whole plot away because 'Blackmail' is an over-flogged title for any drama, movie or screenplay. You would have thought.

But don't let the title fool you. The play is a ruthless harvesting of every deep emotion - anger, love and laughter.

When it's an Uncle Ebo Whyte play at the National Theatre, a seat is not a seat. It is a trap, a dramatic glue to keep you rooted, of course - until you want to pee.

It is easy to feel these endorsing paragraphs so far is a fawning PR. But you are forgiven - go and sin no more.

Have you heard a pastor blow tongues while raping Shaggy's Strength of a woman?

Have you seen how police officers take selfies? They defeat the purpose of 'selfies' by giving the phone to a third person to take a 'selfie' of their pose.

If in an investigation, an Inspector's first line of questioning to a man of God with a wife is 'are you virgin?' What is the best reply? 'Not yet?'

And did you know that God has a special ministry for discredited and disgraced pastors? It is called the vulture's ministry and oh 'God has been blessing' this ministry in wonderful blackmailing ways.

And it is true that pastors are bad in bed?

The main plot is about how a shepherd became so sheepish and 'Elisha's ministry was saved by an actress wife, 'Mama Gee' marked down for some serious salvation from her 'sinful' profession.

But we are also led away from the main plot to a rib-cracking budding love story between a hard-working assistant who really needs to work hard on her mouth, and a British Colonel with 'a big gun'.

How Uncle Ebo Whyte put before us an extremely voluptuous assistant with packed flesh in her anatomical backpack is cruel to say the least. The men watched with the same fear as looking at the head of medusa - only this was pretty much the - but of medusa.

In Blackmail, Uncle Ebo Whyte caricatures three of Ghana's most vilified professions - police, pastors and actresses. But he only managed to rescue the last two from public ridicule - leaving the police in need of a play to do some good PR for the image of the profession.

And if you want to put a password on the laptop of a man of God, surely not 'Gotohell'.

Well, it's time for you to 'Goandwatch' - Blackmail.

Blackmail shows this Saturday and Sunday at 4pm and again at 8pm. A ticket goes for GHC80 at Baatsona Total, all Shell Shops, Joy FM front desk or call 0505546010

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