ASK PULSE:' I'm engaged to my best friend's ex—how do I tell her?'

Dear Pulse,

I never imagined I'd be in this situation. A few years ago, I crossed a line I swore I never would: I slept with my best friend's boyfriend. It was a one-time mistake, and we both agreed it would never happen again. But life took an unexpected turn—he and I reconnected, fell in love, and now we're engaged. The guilt is overwhelming, and I don't know how to tell my best friend.

My best friend has endured a series of tumultuous relationships, each leaving her more guarded and skeptical about love. She's confided in me about her struggles, and I've always been her shoulder to lean on. Now, I fear that revealing the truth will not only shatter our friendship but also reinforce her belief that love leads to betrayal.

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I understand that honesty is crucial, but I worry about the timing and the impact it will have on her. I don't want to cause her more pain, yet keeping this secret feels equally wrong. How do I navigate this delicate situation without causing irreparable damage?

- Crystal

Dear Crystal,

Thank you for feeling safe to share your issue with us. This is a complex loop you are in.

Telling your best friend that you're engaged to her ex is incredibly tough, especially knowing her history with difficult relationships. Honesty is essential here. Choose a private, calm moment to talk, and be direct but gentle. Let her know you didn’t plan for this to happen, but your feelings grew over time.

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Acknowledge that this might hurt her, and give her the space to process it. She may need time, and your friendship could change—but being upfront shows respect for her and your bond. It’s not an easy conversation, but it’s the right one. We wish you the very best.

-Pulse

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