Did you know that one of the best places to raise a child in Ghana is Takoradi? And that Kumasi is next? That is my opinion o, yooo. Dey there and be insulting me in your head if you were brought up in Kasoa and East Legon, the Ashaiman Branch.
No bi my problem. Me sef, I was born and brought up in Kisseman where a friend could punch you in the face and still be smiling and then you also start to smile and shake hands with him in great joy. It is not an assault; it is for fun! Ajeei! Poverty and f**lishness go hand in hand. You can’t do that at Cantonments! Anyway, those guys who lived there were boring. All they know is video games. Hahahahahaa!
If your house is close to a KVIP, you better get used to the stench and ‘enjoy’, not endure. This statement is not about your house o. I am talking to the men. Wherever there seems to be some ‘stench’ or ‘aben woha tsotso cream-flavoured stench’, those are the places we want to spend momo on entering sometimes with our mouths too! Chai! Men?
Yabr3! God is a merciful to us. Even biblical David and his son Solo didn’t do that – they went straight to the ‘point’! Male goats know how to do it better – they would first of all smell the ‘place’ and once you seem them, lift their nostrils in excitement, it means, it is good to go. It is called environmental scanning!
For the first time in my life, I attended last Saturday’s one-week night vigil of an international super star – Daddy Lumba. I did because of what happened in 1994 – the struggling promax stage of my life! On May 1st, 1994 my old man was admitted to the hospital. We visited him in the evening of 1st May and spent quality time with him. Papa was doing fine as he even shared jokes with us. On our way back from the 37 trotro station, the song the trotro driver kept playing was Daddy Lumba’s ‘Odo beba na mewu’. He played the cassette repeatedly to the enjoyment of all the passengers. I personally enjoyed it because of that part of the song where DL translated the chorus into Ewe!
My big brother, Abraham and I went back to the hospital the following morning to visit Papa as expected and were told the old boy was gone! Was Lumba a prophet of realities?
Any time I hear this song play, I enjoy it with a lot of emotions as well. Hmmm!
I can imagine the Katangees, Vandals and Casfordians having their own night vigil in honour of Daddy Lumba. We would need at least 300 thousand Police Officers to control affairs because these guys especially if the Aboagyewaa boys join them in the vigil? Hmmm! Abeg, this is just a wild imagination o. Don’t we all love Lumba!
I said I went to the vigil at the Independence Square la! From what I saw, never go to such places alone but if you do and you see somebody dancing and after every single step he takes, he claps his hands, it is not because he is such a good dancer or enjoying the song playing or clapping for Lumba o; it is because he is either now learning how to dance or covering up on his dancing inefficiency by clapping his hands to deceive only himself. I have just finished telling you about my own experience that night! I’m done with dancing!
On the morning of that fateful Saturday, I was listening to my friends, the ‘Weekend Doctors’ – Kofi Heyford, Langabelle and Rubbin on Joy! I couldn’t help laughing. Apparently Daddy Lumba’s 1992 Gospel song ‘Enye Nyame den’ (to wit Nothing is too hard for God) that we have been singing and corrupting the chorus to sound like ‘Shati badi’…shatii baadi… is actually SHOUT ABOUT IT! Kayhay, thanks for the education. As for those two and what they sang last Saturday morning, gye Nyame! Lang B and Rubbin? Alla!
It only drew my mind back to how we used to sing ‘Sambeyi—we are going na home, summer holiday…do you want to go with us? Going to London….Adabraka boys and girls’! We can spoil songs o, Ghana boys and girls. It’s not our fault.
That was what we heard and never bothered to ask unlike now that you can just ask Google for the lyrics! Oh who is this calling again? Me I am writing non-fa here la ah! Yeesss, come in! This my niece whom I thought some years back to say “Excuse me” anytime she sneezed in the presence of other people is the one.
After teaching this girl what to do in times like this, in less than 5 minutes, me myself I sneezed. Guess what – spontaneously instinctively she responded “Excuse me”. The things children can do er. She did the ‘excuse me’ on my behalf. Readers, give me 5 minutes let me attend to her and come and continue with this unnecessary write-up wae. Miiba!
Ahan! Thank you for your patience; she has left. You know we love each other in Ghana paaa o, regardless! Every Ghanaian loves Daddy Lumba regardless of tribe. I always maintain that some of the most ethnocentrically tolerant people in Ghana are Ashantis. Most of them take jokes without feeling offended.
In fact, they will join you so you can laugh at them believing in themselves that jokes about them would not take anything away from them and truly nothing gets taken away from them too. I lived, ate, studied and shared jokes with them so these are matters of fact.
It is only in Kumasi Stadium that I heard some Kotoko fans arguing: “For Hearts to score Kotoko in Kumasi, ‘nevertheless’. Meanwhile, this ‘nevertheless’ means something totally different too o. When I drew their attention to it, they started laughing at themselves…they no vex la! After all, what matters is that I understood what they actually meant not what the word meant. I just love Ashantis! Until I went to Tech in the late 1990s’, I never knew Kumasi had more Hearts of Oak fans than we have in Accra.
Indeed, most of my reliable friends are Ashantis. These are people who would help you without looking at your tribe…my personal experience though!
Daddy Lumba was an Ashanti yet he sung in Ewe [chorus in his 1992 hit song ‘Odo beba na Mewu’]. He loved all. Through music, he united us.
In a marketing class almost two decades ago, we were to give some practical marketing examples. The topic under discussion was ‘Marketing Communications in different geographical locations’. There was a case study about how telco green, Glow should effectively be launched in Ghana on billboards.
Without wasting time, I raised up my hand and proposed that ‘when Glow is doing its signboards in Kumasi, they should write on it ‘Grow’ so that by the time the people change it to Glow, it would have been in line with the way it should actually be pronounced ‘Glow’. If they failed to do that however, the people would still change it anyway so why not change it for them now! If it remained ‘Glow’, you can be sure they would change it to ‘Grow’. So let’s change it from the beginning so that when they do their own change it would sound p3p33p3 as ‘Glow’. Yaw Manfo, my driver will throw me into the bush today p3333! Hahahahaha!
We all laughed laughed laughed but Kofi Adomanko, a Kumasi boy and a great friend actually planned a counter attack and gave me strong punchlines in a friendly manner later.
During lectures, he came with his own idea as to how Glow should be launched in Keta, my homebase. He proposed that since my people by nature would often add the letter ‘A’ to precede a name where there is no “A’ and take away the ‘A’ where there is actually an A’, the billboards in Keta should read ‘Aglow’.
His argument was that if that was done, Keta people would take out the ‘A’ leaving it with ‘Glow’, that is the way it should actually sound. He cited an example that a typical Ayigbeman in Kumasi-Anloga instead of saying ‘I am travelling from Aboabo to Konongo’ would rather say: ‘I am travelling from Boabo to Akonongo’! Don’t mind us; e bi so we dey! Hahahaha!
Ghana is a beautiful place to be ooo. We make fun of each other and co-exist peacefully. After all, do you think all my numerous girlfriends are all Ewes? Frafra dey inside, Ashanti, Bono, Nzema, Ahanta, Ga, Ada, Ningo, Builsa, Wala, and Nsaba, Buem girls all de inside. They gave me balanced diet. After all, it is only the manhood of a man that can take him to the land of the unknown! Or you think I have ever stepped in Wa geographically? Let’s keep tolerating each other like this and it is healthy for us wae!
I think I now understand why my wife loves me soo much even though she thinks my behaviour sometimes makes me look like a rat, the small one!
Daddy Lumba’s sad passing has really made Ghanaians demonstrate to the rest of the world that we love each other regardless of our tribes.
On this ‘shati badi’ note, may his gentle soul rest in perfect peace. Daddy Lumba, bye byeeeeeeee! Xede nyuieeee, Efo DL
The post Useless Column with Mawuli Zogbenu: ‘Shati badi’ appeared first on The Business & Financial Times.
Read Full Story
Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Instagram
Google+
YouTube
LinkedIn
RSS