Asomdwekrom Chooses Chickens Over Digitalisation!

 

Asomdwekrom’s 2024 presidential election on December 7 has turned out to be a spectacle for the ages, and not necessarily for the reasons we had hoped. As the votes are counted, one thing is abundantly clear: Former President Ogwanfunu of Zu-za is on track for a victory that might just have us questioning our life choices. Yes, you heard right. The “Dead-Goat’s” resurrection is almost complete. Meanwhile, Dr. Mahamudu Bawumia, the Vice President and candidate for the Elephant, who campaigned on a “digital economy” platform, is likely pondering why he thought mobile payments and Airport E-Gates would impress voters when many can barely pay their electricity bills.

Asomdwekrom’s elections, unlike those in many African nations’ that often come with protests and accusations of rigging, have been surprisingly smooth. It is almost as if the entire nation collectively agreed: Let’s keep it calm just like Sunday church service. As results continue to roll in and Ogwanfunu’s lead widens, it seems Asomdwekromanians have opted for filling their bellies over the future of their children.

So, what happened here? After losing the presidency in 2016, Ogwanfunu is back in the race, proving that when it comes to comebacks, he is like a viral TikTok video that just won’t quit. With promises of fixing the economy, more infrastructure, and yes, more chicken, he has apparently captured the hearts (and stomachs) of many voters. Why? Because when inflation is soaring and wallets are shrinking, who can resist the allure of juicy chicken legs and thighs?

Let’s be real: chicken is a powerful motivator. But should it really be our deciding factor in an election? Instead of opting for a digital future, voters have chosen what I’m dubbing the “Chickens and Roads 2024” plan. Meanwhile, Bawumia, who envisioned transforming Asomdwekrom into a digital powerhouse, is probably Googling, “How to get Asomdwekromanians to care about digitalisation.”

Now let’s talk about Dr. Bawumia, who thought he could usher in a digital revolution while most Asomdwekromanians are just trying to figure out how to keep their lights on. His campaign was all about mobile banking and fintech, yet it turns out that most voters were thinking, “Great idea! But can I use that mobile banking to pay for my skyrocketing fuel prices and the electricity bill?”

Bawumia’s digital vision sounded impressive, but when you are sitting at home watching your cedi lose value faster than Usain Bolt’s 100 metres record, you are not exactly dreaming about blockchain technology. You are thinking about how to fill the tummy. Yes, digitalisation is fantastic, but only if you don’t have to worry about your electricity bill doubling overnight.

One of the most fascinating aspects of this election has been the youth engagement; and by engagement, I mean TikToks, selfies, and Twitter debates. If you didn’t take a selfie outside your polling station, did you even vote? Social media became the battleground for young voters. While both Ogwanfunu and Bawumia made their pitches online, it seems Ogwanfunu’s chicken-centric message resonated more with the masses.

The youth may be tech-savvy, but they know what truly matters – getting their Wi-Fi to work and having enough food to eat. If only Bawumia had done a TikTok dance with some fried chicken in hand, he might have captured the real heart of the youth vote. Instead, we find ourselves in a world where votes go to whoever promises more poultry rather than more tech upgrades.

Perhaps the most surprising aspect of 2024 election was its peaceful nature because of the high stakes. Elections in many countries often resemble reality shows gone wrong, with accusations flying and streets erupting in chaos. But Asomdwekrom kept it chill this time around; it was as if everyone agreed: Let’s keep it peaceful; we will argue over chicken later. Bawumia kept his campaign civil, with Ogwanfunu on an insulting-spree. But it was generally very civil.

As Ogwanfunu’s victory looks increasingly likely, it is clear that the true winner here is the peaceful electoral process itself. Ogwanfunu has once again shown that peace is essential for a successful election. Sure, voters may have opted for the chicken option over a digital future, but at least they chose civility over chaos.

Asomdwekrom’s 2024 election was not just a lesson in peaceful democracy but also a reminder of what truly moves us as a nation. Yes, Ogwanfunu’s victory, fueled by promises of infrastructure and chicken, has struck a chord with many voters. But one must wonder: What could Asomdwekrom have achieved had we chosen Bawumia’s digitalisation? Ogwanfunu’s victory might taste sweet now, but what happens when bills pile up and chickens run out? Will we be ready for a digital future or will we just keep clucking along?

As tallying of votes are almost over and celebrations begin, let’s sit back with some delicious fried chicken because the digitalised future can wait!

See you next week for another interesting konkonsa, Deo volente!

 

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